“In Control” – Vol. XIV, No. 3
Boy, do we empathize with Brad and Victoria. They made a move at an airport that they thought would keep them in the running, possibly even gain them a little ground, and what happens? Eliminated.
Strange how both they and we were eliminated due to airplane issues while traveling to Amsterdam. Of course, our issues occurred in Paris while traveling to Amsterdam, theirs happened in Amsterdam proper. But this begs the question...
WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING IN AMSTERDAM????
Here's what we mean. Let's assume you were trying to fly from Chicago to Dallas, as shown below.
Notice how your general direction of travel is towards the south and west. That's because Dallas is south and west of Chicago. If, for some reason, you were unable to book a direct flight to Dallas, you might consider looking at stops in, say, St. Louis, or Oklahoma City. Why? Because these cities are also south and west of Chicago. You can safely assume that your total trip time will only be marginally longer than the time from Chicago to Dallas plus the length of your layover.
Now, let's look at another possibility. You still can't manage to book that non-stop to Dallas, so you start scouting other options. Suddenly you come up with...
Of all the options available to you, this might just be one of the worst. You see, you begin your trip by traveling north and east - exactly OPPOSITE the direction you want to go. Then you have a layover, and then you finally head south and west. You still have to make up all that distance you flew to the north and east before you start getting closer to Dallas than when you started. Trust us, we know some of those New York controllers and you will be darn lucky if you even get out on time. Then there's that whole bird thing that New York has going on right now. Did you pack your swimming trunks?
Here is the route the teams were supposed to travel tonight:
As you can see, the direct flight to Bucharest would take teams towards the east and south. If unable to secure a direct flight, then likely stopovers would include Vienna, Budapest, and Belgrade. (Notice that 2 of those potential stopovers also start with the letter "B". This comes in handy if you misread the name of the city you are supposed to be traveling to. You might get lucky and end up where you really belong.)
Of course, here's the route that Brad and Victoria elected to take:
Do we really need to point out exactly WHY that was such a bad choice? (Not that we would know anything about making bad choices, mind you.)
And before we leave for this episode, we would be extremely remiss if we didn't comment on the gaffe of the evening. No, we're not talking about Phil signing "you are a jelly doughnut" when Margie and Luke stepped on the mat, we're talking about Tammy and Victor's trek up and down the mountain in search of coffins. Take a look at this map to see just how far they really went:
Don't forget folks, that route was partly Tammy's fault (well, at least according to Victor).
And isn't it nice to see that Steve & Dave finally got their Art & Special Effects Department back to work? We think so. It really saved us from having to write anything of substance this time.