In Control – Vol. VIII, No. 1
We had a great column all but written for the first leg of TAR8, with lots of funny bits interspersed throughout. Then, we met…Ray.
You know him. The Amazing Race 7. Ran the race with Deanna. Finished in 7th. Very affable, funny guy. Never invited Steve & Dave to his wedding. Yeah, him.
Oh, we were going to go on and on about Phil’s dramatic, “…teams must now travel over 90 blocks…”, how the race spent two days going from New York to Lancaster (Pennsylvania, sometimes known as a state), and how Phil even gave the tall eyebrows at the start of the race this time.
Then it all came crashing down with a single word from…Ray. That word was, “Why?”
Our first response was, “why not?”, but that led to the inevitable, “why…indeed?”
He had a point. So the reason you’re not reading Steve & Dave’s acerbic comments about the overall lameness of TAR8 is simple. It’s Ray’s fault. Not doubt you are thinking, “those lazy bums have just found a new way to skate on writing their column.” You would be wrong this time. You see, we checked with Deanna and found out lots of other things that were Ray’s fault.
Seventh place in TAR7? Ray’s fault. Invitation to wedding not arriving at Steve or Dave’s house? Ray’s fault. A whopping $3.00+ for a gallon of gasoline? Ray’s fault. War in Iraq? Ray’s fault. Bush’s second term? Ray’s fault. Collapse of Communism? Lack of raw materials and updated production facilities in a free-market world economy, but Ray was seen lurking about.
So, now it can be told. The reason this column has no real pertinence to the premiere of TAR8? Ray’s fault. Really.
Join us again after episode two, when we find more things to blame Ray for. Maybe we’ll even write about the race, but if we don’t, you’ll know whom to blame.