“In Control” – Leg 5 (and 6?)
Okay, show of hands here, people. How many of you are starting to think that Ray might have actually been a tad worse in his attitude towards Deanna than Jonathan was towards Victoria (even though he seemed to be able to control his outbursts better)? Now, how many of you with your hands raised are willing to post the same on your favorite message board (TARflies)? Yeah, that’s what we thought.
First to worst in the same episode (sort of). That has to be an all-time record. Shuffling off to Loser Lodge probably wasn’t too horribly bad though, considering Ray and Deanna got to do it with a couple of RAV4’s in hand. We, on the other hand, have now passed well beyond the “we got screwed in the leg-winning-prizes” stage, and have officially graduated to the “CBS had better pony up with something soon or we’re writing a tell-all” point of view.
Remember last season when Steve and Dave told you about the “Stop Racing” clue? (No? Why not? What do you mean, you normally don’t read our column? Oh yeah? Well, same to you, senorita. Why not just read about it right now, right here?) Had it not been for us spilling the beans last season, you would have seen the second incarnation of the “Stop” this season (even though you thought we made the whole thing up, there’s at least ONE person who thought it was legit). The Amazing Editors had to do some incredible work to make this week’s episode look like it was a NEL followed by a regular leg over the two-hour show, but the truth of the matter is that you would have seen another “To Be Continued” had we not clued all of you in. We wish we could discuss it further, but our legal team advises against it. Who knew that a signed non-disclosure agreement is legally binding?
Are we the only ones who questioned exactly what the “safety officer” in Brian and Greg’s car was doing immediately before they flipped? We figure he must have been saying something along the lines of, “Trust me, flipping one of these is really a lot harder than you’ve been told. Now floor it.”
“If a racer’s vehicle breaks down due to no fault of their own, they will be provided with a replacement vehicle. However, no time credit will be given.” Have you ever heard those words before? So have we. It seems that flipping your car has been moved to the “break down due to no fault of the racer” category.
Speaking of the accident, Lynn and Alex have now officially been nominated for sainthood, or at least for “holier-than-thou-hood.” Guys, Brian and Greg told you to continue racing. They didn’t want you to get shuffled back for their mistake. You decided to remain at the scene. You also decided to get offended when Rob and Amber went whizzing by. You really need to ask yourself who took the smarter course of action – Rob and Amber, who figured they were in a RACE, noticed that everything seemed under control, and continued racing; or you who stood around gawking even after you were told that everything was okay? Stopping to offer help was the polite and humane thing to do – for that you get a gold star. Continuing to stay once you determined that you weren’t needed (and were told to go) could have earned you a trip to Loser Lodge. We really want to like you two, but could you PLEASE lose the Romber hatred and just run the freaking race?
Uchenna and Joyce get points for giving Meredith and Gretchen some clothes. The producers lose big points for adding “give up your backpacks” to the last-place in a non-elimination leg rule. What, getting to film scenes of Americans begging in third-world countries wasn’t enough fun? Now you want to see just how ripe you can get them to smell as well?
Time for “Spot Romber.” You know the rules.
This was one of the series of Grant Woods’ famed “Gothic” pictures, although it wasn’t nearly as well known as his “American Gothic.” This one was entitled, “Gothic? I Got Your Friggin’ Gothic Right Here, Mister…”
This one might be the toughest of all. Although we have been assured by the Survivor production staff that both Rob and Amber were really in “Survivor: All Stars,” no one has yet been able to locate them in this cast photo.