Fashion Reports

Fashion Report — Episode 3

Big Slick: Episode 3 posed the timeless fashion question: What does one wear to a dinner of four pounds of barbequed cow-organs?

The answer, clearly, was come-as-you-are. Although a few teams did opt for their quitting outfits. And, speaking of quitting tasks and four-hour delays, you may be wondering what has delayed the episode three fash rep . . . well, let me tell you, it has been a crazy week of home improvements and social obligations and interstate travel. Most importantly, I have painted my bedroom from the horrid, Ray & Deana-esque blue (with black[!] trim) that the last resident had chosen to glorious Restoration Hardware Thyme with Polo by Ralph Lauren Arrowroot semi-gloss trim. It’s positively herbaceous in there now!

Kanuck: That sounds like a definite improvement! Why do some people make such blunders, anyways? I suppose, though, that if the Racers had as much colour/fashion sense as you do, these reports would only be four lines long.
The prime offender of ep 3 was Patrick, who, in a fun twist of cosmic broadcast fate, ended up wearing green for the week of his saint’s day.
Big Slick: So true: Our teams always make colo(u)r blunders. The prime offender of ep 3 was Patrick, who, in a fun twist of cosmic broadcast fate, ended up wearing green for the week of his saint’s day. The green tee with almost-but-not-quite coordinating green bandana was too much. Couple that with puke, and he went way over his green limit.

Romber continued with the red. It’s good to know that, when Lynn & Alex finally cut them, the blood won’t ruin the look of their outfits.

Kanuck: You know, it’s a good thing that red’s a good colour for Amber, as I don’t think I’ve seen her wear a single non-red item. Methinks someone interpreted the “team colour” rule a little too strictly.

Big Slick: Uchenna & Joyce looked great in their signature light yellow tops with red jackets. They only get one or two more episodes out of these, though, before I start to turn on them. Too much repetition, though great for the backpacks, is deadly for the fash reporters.

Kanuck: I agree that they both looked good in the yellow, and I liked the dark brown knit cap that Uchenna was sporting to drive through the Andes. If teams are going to be repetitious, though, at least these two have chosen to add a bit of variety. Remember last season’s sea of grey and berry?)=

Big Slick: Yes, it was like a season of old granola breakfast cereal.

We had more scarves this week. Susan, apparently, has brought a white scarf and a striped one. Alex sported a scarf, which, as Giuseppe pointed out, he tied in a knot. This has been a disturbing trend both in real life and on reality television—none other than American Idol-hopeful and sketchy-rocker Constantine Maroulis wore a tied scarf last week as he sang “I Think I Love You.” Or was it “I Think I Don’t Know How to Dress Myself?”

Kanuck: Heh. I can’t say that I’m sorry to have missed that one (the annoyance factor of AI outweighs the potential for schadenfreude in my book). I liked Susan’s multicoloured scarf, which was a nice way to add a splash of colour over the black fleece jacket without adding much weight to their already-oversized backpacks. She tended to wear her scarves draped on the outside of her jackets, apparently choosing fashion over function. What did you think of it?

Big Slick: Well, my preferred mode of scarf-wear varies. For fashion-only silk scarves, I prefer the “outside the coat, draped under the collar” look. For warmth-only knit scarves, I prefer the “wrap one and a half times (both ends in front) under jacket or coat” look. For fashion/warmth scarves (the tweeds and cashmeres), I do a once around wrap with one end in front and one end flying loose over my shoulder. I am not a knotter. Women can get away with a “loop with ends pulled through” knot, but I don’t like this look on men. Likewise, I’m not a fan of turtlenecks on men.

How do you wear your scarves, Kanuck? I imagine you must have opportunity to wear them frequently up there in the Great White North.

Kanuck: Yup. While the warm sunlight this week has helped melt a bit of snow, a scarf still helps with the early-morning chill. This winter, I’ve been wearing a long scarf (that I knit, btw) in the “loop with the ends pulled through” style, and I’m relieved to know that you don’t disapprove of the look! Speaking of disapproval, this episode included a few cringle-inducing looks, didn’t it?

Big Slick: Indeed! The detour provided some fashion ugliness. The only headgear more heinous than the raft helmets were the camera-antler helmets on Brian & Greg.

Team Hipstercrombie has hipsterrific hats. I must say something about hipsters here: I loathe them and their sense of thrift-store “fashion.” It is hipsters who inflicted trucker hats, sweatbands, cop shades, ironic tees, and dirty hair upon us. Williamsburg, Brooklyn, is the epicenter of all that is wrong in fashion trends for the twenty-something set. However, although I hate hipster, I love Abercrombie (a gay thing, yes), and the combo is not unappealing, especially on these two. I especially like their stocking caps. However, they go two steps too far with their sunglasses. They are, bar none, the worst-looking sunglasses ever to be worn on the Race.
While they may not have sported trucker hats (yet!), the boys really are working the hipster-thrift angle.
Kanuck: They do have an unending supply of questionable accessories, don’t they? This week, one of them was even wearing a red-and-white “Danmark” headband. In their self-introduction, I think I caught their last name as “Smith,” so I doubt they can claim a Danish heritage as an excuse for that one. While they may not have sported trucker hats (yet!), the boys really are working the hipster-thrift angle. I wonder if it’s contagious, because I notice that Debbie was wearing a white and green sweatband-style armband, a bit of a departure from their usual lightweight, quick-dry gear.

Big Slick: I must say I’m sad that Debbie & Bianca were eliminated. I did not think the turquoise with which they were saddled worked well for both of them, but the pair did tend to wear colorful (but not garishly so) and functional gear. I did like the brown top/orange bottom warm-up outfit.

Kanuck: They did manage to fit a lot of colour into those small packs. Maybe it’s a good thing they went out when they did, because I’m guessing that we’ve already seen all the outfits they packed. That said, I’m impressed that they were able to maintain a “team identity” look while wearing quite different colours (deep orange and light blue) that suited them as individuals.

Speaking of team identities, was I the only one who was a bit disturbed by the Mom’NMe twinning that Susan & Patrick had going? Both wore a light t-shirt (blue and green, respectively) over a long-sleeved white shirt. White just isn’t the best colour to choose for a month-long Race around the world with limited access to laundry facilities.

Big Slick: And don’t forget the HAIR twinning they did! It still makes me shudder.

Kanuck: If you’re going to match, at least choose a better colour, like the charcoal fleece jackets worn by Meredith and Gretchen.

Big Slick: Agreed.

And now for some random shout-outs:

Kelly, I liked your hair. Well done.

Amberexia, you’re hot, but you need a sandwich.

Kanuck: And stop it with the “I’m so fat!” attempts to get pity and/or attention. Because that’s annoying.
Deana, it’s time to change your clothes . . . and your boyfriend.
Big Slick: Deana, it’s time to change your clothes . . . and your boyfriend.

Kanuck: Put that cute “Take a Hike” t-shirt you wore last week to use.

And as a final note, I liked Phil’s outfit this week. The brown button-up top and jeans fit in with the “cowboy country” theme started in this episode, and looked good.

Big Slick: So much better than the turtlenecks (I’m really coming out as anti-turtleneck in this fash rep)!

Kanuck: We’ve seen some questionable outfits on him in the past, but maybe there’ll be a change for the better.

Big Slick: Yes! As the host, he sets the tone for everyone. Here’s hoping! Until next time, fashion fans, watch those knots.