Clown Al Reports!

Scratchin’ Eyes Out and Spittin’ Llamas

All right all you Amazin' Race Fans . . . how’s it going????? TARCON was a blast, by the way, and I look forward to many more. I am back for TAR7, and I will hopefully do a better job chattin’ about this one than the last, because I will be home for a majority of the episodes and not on a ship!!! Although it is my last . . . wait, did everyone hear that? . . . LAST semester in college, so hopefully with a little luck and a lot of work on my thesis I will have my masters' degree by the end of May! Hey, for me that’s amazing in itself . . . okay, enough about me, let’s get to the race!

I am actually really looking forward to this one . . . I don’t know why besides the fact that one more down means one more closer to a possible ALL STAR . . . Come on, everyone, start sending those e-mails . . . LOL . . . LOL . . . . My heading for this review is compliments of Lynn & Alex and the llamas. Let’s just call it: "Scratchin Eyes Out and Spittin’ Llamas."
Well, I thought the race started out very cool. Helicopters!!! Awesome, we could have used Steve and Dave to talk ‘em in!!
Well, I thought the race started out very cool. Helicopters!!! Awesome, we could have used Steve and Dave to talk ‘em in!! Long Beach, California – well, thank goodness they finally got away from Santa Monica.. I think the network is finally putting a little more money into the production and advertising . . . you guys check out the new tear dropper advertisement. I like it. Okay, back to the race.

So far, I really like the teams. It wasn’t like TAR6, where I was, like, what the heck was casting thinking?? I think we have some real decent normal everyday type people on this one. Overall, I thought episode one was what it was, a chance to meet the teams and try to put names to the faces. Very cool that they went to South America/ Peru, and the zip line looked awesome, and the llama herding was funny. Loved that . . . what the heck were the teams thinking about, immediately digging in the sand without looking what time was in the pile? You gotta be kiddin’ me, they are going too fast. Stop, take a minute and breathe, and figure it all out.

Oh, wait a minute. I am not sure how everyone is going to react to what I have to say now, but why is everyone so against Rob and Amber?? Hmm, I kinda don't get that . . . why? Because they won in Survivor?? But really, they won fair and square, right? I think the teams should stop wasting their time by focusing on them and getting them, and just run the race as well as they can. I actually thought Rob and Amber did some pretty smart maneuvering and did well. Yeah, he was lucky as hell that someone recognized him and smart with telling the buses to go express, but he did a pretty damn good job catching up and playing it smart. Nice job.

Okay, here’s a short but sweet run down of my take on the teams:

Debbie & Bianca: HMMMMM. Okay, there’s something about these two that we don't know. Hmm, lifelong friends?? Maybe I am wrong, but just by the way the cameras are focusing on the "I love you's" and all that . . . but I think they are pretty calm, cool, and collected. I like ‘em, although I didn’t understand why Debbie got so furious at Bianca with the llamas. Chill out, girl! I thought they made a nice combo with Patrick and his mom.
I used to walk a llama around in Ringling Circus and one time it ran away from me and ran around during the show in Madison Square Garden.
Susan & Patrick: I like these guys as well, they did well, but again, too much concentrating on Rob and Amber. Patrick, come on, leave ‘em alone . . . LOL! (I do have to add that my friend Louis called to say he didn't care too much for them because Patrick was acting too . . . ahh, too ahhh, wimpy). Nah, I really think you did well and ya made me proud that ya stuck it out with the llamas. (Hey, funny story: I used to walk a llama around in Ringling Circus and one time it ran away from me and ran around during the show in Madison Square Garden. LOL! Okay, just a little excerpt.) Smart move hooking up with Debbie and Bianca . . . not a smart move telling Rob and Amber where that box was, in my opinion, but Jon and I probably would have done the same thing. Good luck! It's nice to see a mom and son on the show!

Rob & Amber: I am very curious about their opinion and comparison of the Race to Survivor? Anyway, I really thought they did a pretty good job in catching up and making some smart moves. Yes, you were definitely lucky that guy recognized ya and you were smart the way you used him to your best advantage! Very smart. You really kept cool throughout, although I kinda felt like in the beginning of the race with the “let’s stop to get something to drink” and “hey, we already have a million dollars” it was kinda shlocky, and Jon called me up to say "what the heck man? he is being very arrogant and cocky." I also got calls from Louis to tell me, " I don't like them, they are throwing around the fact that they won a million dollars on Survivor too much." I definitely agree about the arrogant side of Rob and Amber, but I guess we just have to wait and see how long that lasts. I also saw the playing to the cameras and expect that this year’s race is going to be full of that with them. We will see how long it lasts towards the middle and end (if ya get there). Hey, but you guys seemed like you truly did enjoy the race, really had fun and were still competitive. I think these guys are going to go a long way. If they win it all, they win it all. One thing I can say is it will be very difficult to use the same tactics on the Race that you used in Survivor. (At least I think.) Good luck!

Brian & Greg: I don’t have too much to say about these guys except I really like them and thought they ran a good race and I think these guys are gonna go far in the race. They seem to me to be flying low under the radar right now and I think just sizing up the competition . . . I like em!
Funny stuff. They have some pretty humorous reactions and all.
Lynn & Alex: The first thing I wrote about these guys was OMG!!! I actually got a call from my friend Louis, who told me these guys gotta go!!! LOL! I don’t know . . . they make me laugh . . . he he he he . . . at first, hearing them talk and saying they will scratch peoples eyes out, etc., I was like . . . EVIL!! But I guess once they got around to the more physical aspect of the race they chilled out a bit. I didn’t like it that they didn’t tell the older couple about the earlier ticket?? I didn’t get that??? Why did they not want to tell them? I mean, another team was gonna get it, why not let them??? I laughed at the “muy muy muy” comment . . . LOL . . . and then he commented "what am I saying, ‘very very’?” Funny stuff. They have some pretty humorous reactions and all.

Meredith & Gretchen: I found them to be cute, did pretty good, but I think as the race goes on it will really take its toll on them. They did well with the llamas, though! I guess it’s just wait and see how it goes with them....

Ray & Deanna: Don't ask me, why but in the very beginning I thought to myself this couple is going to go far, I like them a lot. Umm, I think he's the one who kept telling her to "Suck it up" right? Or do I have them confused with someone else?? Hmmm, now I am confused. Well, if that’s them, I think that’s gonna get old FAST! Again, another wait and see, but I have a feeling they will be around for awhile.

Uchenna & Joyce: Didn't write too much about them. Hmm, I don’t know, they didn’t make any lasting impression on me, or maybe they weren't edited into the first episode because they are going to be around for awhile?? HMMMMM!

Megan & Heidi: Okay, I have to tell everyone that at first glance when I saw them I immediately thought Tian and Jaree . . . and I was like, OH NO! But after looking back at what I wrote about them after watching the show, there’s one simple word: Uneventful.

Ron & Kelly: Didn't write anything about these guys as well.

Ryan & Chuck: Ah damn, I thought these guys’ character would have started coming out as the race progressed, I thought they were gonna be funny and interesting to watch. Kinda sorry to see ‘em go. I thought it was funny as hell watching the one guy come down the zip-line and smacking his ass on the dirt. I felt for them. That’s such a big fear, getting eliminated first. It must be an awful feeling. Hope to meet these guys somewhere down the road. Well, they are in Sequesterville.

All right, that’s episode number one, and I actually completed it before episode number two. Take care, fans, and see ya round!