Fashion Reports

Fashion Report — Episode Two

As the result of an unfortunate turkey incident, Giuseppe will not be joining in with the fashion commentary this week. I promise not to let the power go to my head . . .
Who knew that such simple accessories as a pair of sunglasses could force a couple to reevaluate their relationship?
Oh, happy day! A plotline from episode two actually concerned fashion! Who knew that such simple accessories as a pair of sunglasses could force a couple to reevaluate their relationship? Well, as your intrepid fash rep, I must say that I suspected it. And I hope all of you fash readers suspected it, too. And wasn’t Mr. Adam better off sans that pair of shades?

Other accessories of note this episode included:

Cute hats. Aaron’s burgundy knit cap and Jon’s visor. I’m still impressed by Aaron’s perfectly shaped head and by Jon’s perfectly sculpted hair.

Do rags, do rags, do rags. Everyone had them, but Hera used hers to maximum results.

Fake Burberry. Rebecca’s visor was not as cute as Jon’s. I’m so tired of that print. Make it go away. Rebecca’s leggings were sweet, though—nice butt, girl!

Head lamps. Aaron’s was sporty, but he wore it when he didn’t need it and therefore upped the nerd quotient a little.

Glasses. Freddy’s glasses may not be ultra-hip, but they do make him look smarter and hotter. And that’s what counts in a pair of specs.

Also, an accessory became season two’s first documented incident of clothes-sharing. Anyone know what accessory it was that jumped from one team member to the other (and back)?

Get yourself to the Pit Stop if you said, “Kristy’s camo cap!” Not as, well, creepily intimate as sharing a white, sleeveless pocket-tee (Anyone? Anyone?), but, hey, sharing clothes is still an iffy proposition in my book. Even for sisters.
Honestly, the girl loves the berry color . . . and it doesn’t love her back quite as much.
Also an iffy proposition is the use of a signature color. The current issue of Architectural Digest showcases a Manhattan apartment done up all in shades of purple. I had to wonder if Kendra lived there. Honestly, the girl loves the berry color . . . and it doesn’t love her back quite as much. It does, however, make it easy to differentiate her from the other model-actress-racers. As does her cutie father—I mean boyfriend.

There are several cute racer boys this go round, and we even had one of them sporting a wet t-shirt in ep two! Dee-licious. Well done, Jon, and well done, Norwegian rain!

The awards this week will be unilateral (I’m drunk with power!), and I choose to ride along with the episode’s accessories theme in addition to the best- and worst-dressed.

Worst Accessorized (male): Jonathan. For his bandanna-print buff. Does he think he’s on Survivor? What tribe is that, Jonathan? Jackassi?

Worst Accessorized (female): I hate to add insult to injury (okay, no, I don’t), but I have to award this to Maria and her pink, hearted headband. It did not work, and I am glad I don’t have to look at it anymore.

Worst Accessorized (team): Bolori. For the red thing on Bolo’s head—one wonders if he killed a family of acrobats and skinned them for headgear. And also for Lori’s khaki purse, which looked like the sad love child of a fanny pack and a pair of cargo pants. Jeans and a purse? Where are you, Lori, the mall?
But what seals the deal for this award is his use of gloves with a matching, short-sleeved tee. Something about it was hot.
Best Accessorized: Jon. For his hair-showcasing visor—this man went through a rain storm and his hair was still perfect! He must have made some sort of deal with the devil. But what seals the deal for this award is his use of gloves with a matching, short-sleeved tee. Something about it was hot. He was one of two boaters to shun outerwear, but that didn’t stop him from taking the time to protect his hands. Let this be a lesson to all of you: Don’t neglect your skin! Keep those hands soft.

Best Dressed: He was wearing a cocoa corduroy jacket over a grey tee, layering with a fleece for warmth. Presciently anticipating the week’s accessories theme, he even sported a cute necklace . . . my man, Phil! You go, boy.

Worst Dressed (individual): Adam. He traipsed through cold northern climes in man-pris, and he lost a pair of sunglasses. Shame on you, Adam.

Worst Dressed (team): Bolori. Jeans? People! Hello! They’re heavy, they take up a lot of backpack room, they take forever to dry (and it rained this episode), they restrict movement (especially when they’re that tight)—they are just a bad choice for The Amazing Race. And acid wash makes it worse. Add the red head thing and the sick, sad purse, and you get the worst-dressed team of episode two.

Until next week, dress well and hold onto your shades!



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