Commentary

TAR Virgin’s View – Episode Eight

As a new TAR viewer, it appears my relationship with this show has run into a "roadblock" of its own.

It's really beginning to hurt.

I had not expected that I would become an addict ... but now I'm completely rearranging my life so I won't miss this show. Last Tuesday I almost threw a fit at Midway Airport when I found out my flight would be delayed by 3 hours and I would miss Charla and Mirna's last hurrah (ironic that a delayed flight would turn out to be their downfall as well!). But worse than that is something far, far more troubling. I am developing "relationships" with some of these people.
I knew there would be no more hilarious hijinks involving evil goats or sneaky airport maneuvers.
This week I dreaded the show because I knew there would be no more "Come on, Charla!" I knew there would be no more hilarious hijinks involving evil goats or sneaky airport maneuvers. I spent most of this episode grieving for the loss of two women who, let's face it, I could see myself hanging out with at the bar. During each leg of the race I kept wondering, "What would Charla and Mirna do?" Would they have gone skydiving? Would Charla have given Colin the swift kick in the ass he so richly deserves? And Charla would have SO loved riding on the camel! And who's going to gush on and on about how cute Phil is? I mean, someone has to take care of these things! I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.

I also get teary-eyed when I think that THIS week we could finally have been rid of "Clueless and Cluelesser" but no - it HAD to be non-elimination. Why couldn't it have been non-elimination last week? What kind of God lets these things happen? And how is it criminals like Colin get to finish in first place (and be awarded a free vacation?). For what - giving American tourists everywhere a bad name? Sorry, but I have a real gripe with this show. Phil should be able to award "Jackass Penalty Points" when racers turn into raving lunatics ... or "Dumb Ass Deductions" when idiots like Colin claim that Jesus was the Prodigal Son. And people like Chip and Kim - who are class acts, all the way - should get an extra boost because they still act like civilized humans under pressure. Can't nice guys (and gals) EVER finish first?

I'll bet Charla and Mirna would have approved ... if only they were still with us. Sob.