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Mirnish 101

In particular, contestants with knowledge of a foreign language always impress us.
As devoted fans know, The Amazing Race is educational as well as entertaining, and it rewards intelligence as much as physical strength. In particular, contestants with knowledge of a foreign language always impress us. Think about Alex's knowledge of Portuguese. Gerard's knowledge of Spanish. Margarita's knowledge of French. This year, the tradition continues. Besides knowing Turkish, Armenian, and French, Mirna Hidoyan is fluent in Mirnish, a beautiful language, elegant in its simplicity and fascinating in origin. A creole of English, French, Armenian, Esperanto, and wild improvisation, Mirnish is even rumored to have a distant relationship to Spanish, although such claims are controversial and have yet to be substantiated. Mirnish is widely spoken in many parts of the world - Season One's Kim and Leslie spoke a dialect of it at the Eiffel Tower - and virtually anyone can be fluent in it overnight. Some particularly useful phrases are listed below. Note that Mirnish is an extremely versatile language; several phrases have many different meanings (compare the German Bitte schön or the British Cheers!, each of which is an essentially meaningless phrase that could be said at any time for any reason).

Useful travel expressions:
  • Yugó? -- Do you go there? ALSO Do you like small European cars?

  • Stoppo! - Stop!

  • Ambarco! - Yes, we need a boat! ALSO Whatever you say!

  • Ayuda, cáridis, por favore. - Help carry this, please. ALSO We don't need anybody. We never do. ALSO We are strong, independent women. ALSO We are the strongest women here.

  • Amigo. - (General form of address which can mean any of the following) Friend. Compatriot. Poor sucker. Innocent bystander. Stupid buffoon. Partner in miscommunication. Temporary ally.

  • Morte, morte! - Thanks for helping carry the beef! ALSO Get us a taxi!

  • Excuüsi. - Excuse me.

  • Donde es discotec? -- Where the discothèque is? ALSO Would your mother approve of you being a prostitute, Phyllis?

  • Bot aquí? - Is the boat here? (NOTE THAT "AMBARCO" CHANGES TO "BOT" WHEN IN A QUESTION FORM, OR WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT, REALLY.)

  • Emerdchensía. - Emergency. ALSO We deserve to be ahead of others. You must comply, for we have the Luck of the Evil.

  • Posibla bot stopé? - Is it possible to stop the boat? ALSO We deserve to be ahead of others. You must comply, for we have the Luck of the Evil.

  • Necesito emerdchensía dísbot. - I must get on this boat. ALSO We deserve to be ahead of others. You must comply, for we have the Luck of the Evil.

  • Fronto! - Please get in front of the next car. ALSO We deserve to be ahead of others. You must comply, for we have the Luck of the Evil.

  • Pequeño bela! - Small lady coming! ALSO We deserve to be ahead of others. You must comply, for we have the Luck of the Evil.

  • No posible. - We can't. ALSO It's not possible. ALSO We kinda don't feel like running. ALSO Is it disrespectful to run in a cemetery?

  • Te amo tango. - I like to tango. ALSO I like orange-flavored drink. ALSO I can do the tango with a gentleman.

  • Disgósting. - Disgusting. Unsavory. Bad. Unfortunate. NOTE: May be used to express anything that is disfavorable to you. Examples: "El reno es disgósting." (The rain is unfortunate.) "El Bridches de Madison Caunti es disgósting." (The Bridges of Madison County made me cry.)

  • Ainíd e doctoro. - I need a doctor. ALSO This flight is very important to me. ALSO We deserve to be ahead of others. You must comply, for we have the Luck of the Evil.

Conjugation of the verb "to know":
  • Note that in questions it should be asked as "Tu se…?" as in "Tu se Disco Shake Mega Disco?" The object must be repeated. Another example might be: "Tu se ambarco Ferry Terminal ambarco?"

  • In negative questions, the construction is totally different and must be asked, "No cono…?" as in "No cono Disco Shake Mega Disco?" Again, the object must be repeated. Further example: "No cono taxi to Maldonado taxi?"

Some other useful grammatical notes:
  • The word "necesito" is very flexible, meaning I need, I want, please, I must, I have, I think, I should, thank you, Help me, watermelon, sandals, algebra, closed-captioning, and swordfish.

  • You may substitude "ainíd" for "necesito."

These are the basics. Although there is much more to learn, you should be able to express yourself eloquently with these simple phrases. Any phrase that you should wish to express that is not listed here can pretty much be made up yourself. That's the beauty of Mirnish.

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