Commentary

TAR Virginís View - Episode One

A new season and a new kid on the block ... yep, that's me ... TAR Virgin extraordinaire! I have never watched TAR.... well, that's not entirely true. I did watch one episode once a few seasons ago, but it was midseason and I hated feeling like I'm coming into the middle of the race. So this year I'm bent on doing this right! The only trouble is I am televisionally challenged (we get to make up words here, right?) and I can never remember when stuff is on. So hopefully my cousin Tribefan (TF) will continue to phone me with those oh-so-gentle, "WHERE-ARE-YOU-TURN-ON-YOUR-TV- NOW!" reminder calls.
My first impression of the show was really favorable (I can't wait to tune in next week)...
Enough with the intro. My first impression of the show was really favorable (I can't wait to tune in next week) but I learned early on that you really have to pay attention (like some of these sad team members who can't seem to grasp the meaning of "INSTRUCTIONS.") I kept calling TF to ask background questions, and made the mistake of calling during a crucial powwow on the bus when some of these people were trying to form strategic alliances (how funny is THAT? Like they're all going to remember their new buddies when it comes to dividing up that million dollar prize? I DON'T THINK SO!). So, because I gabbed during a key part, I then had to call TF back a few more times to get up to speed. I believe she'll be unplugging her phone next Tuesday.

At first it was a bit daunting trying to keep up with who all the teams were, but after a while it became a lot easier. I found myself creating a "Who I Love" list next to "Who I Can't Stand." I love the bowling broads ... they look like they could be my neighbors and it's always fun to root for people you can kinda relate to. I adore Jim & Marsha and wanted to cheer him on from the beginning because of the Wounded Knee Incident (man, had that been me, I would have been sitting in a pool of my own blood, sobbing like a baby until they dragged me out of camera range). Bob & Joyce are cool. And I really love Charla and Mirna ... when they said that the "chips" detour was a "sign" because they gamble all the time, I said, Yep - this is the team for me. I laughed out loud when Mirna wanted to stay in the casino and play a hand of blackjack. But really, I loved the way they both toughed it out through that "running of the bull parts" part of the show.
Speaking of which ... why oh why didn't a pack of Uruguayan wild dogs descend upon Marshall & Lance...
Speaking of which ... why oh why didn't a pack of Uruguayan wild dogs descend upon Marshall & Lance (along with their slab-o-cow) and turn them into the dog meat they are? These two humans (and I use that term loosely) are hideous and definitely lead my "Who I Can't Stand" list ... followed closely by Kami & Karli. I don't hate them because they're "the fast girls" (get over yourselves, ladies). I can't stand them because they're just stupid and they haven't yet learned that they should not speak.

Oh, and Brandon .. he needs to deep-six that hair style. That curly blonde look went out with The Greatest American Hero (and he was a much cooler dude who could fly, which might have come in really handy on this race).

But all in all, I had a groovy time with this first episode, and I really am looking forward to my continued deflowering as a true TAR Virgin as the teams make their way across the world and into my living room.