Random Foolery

CBS Put on Notice!

Guido: the tiny, stealth attack dog
Guido: the tiny, stealth attack dog
Once there was a child who was promised a shiny penny at the end of the week in return for being very, very good.
So he was. His sailor suit was starched, his Buster Browns were beautiful in their cleanliness. And then, after a week of saintliness, he encountered dissembling. "No, we really meant next week, " said the authority figures. And then there was another put off: the week after, and the week after that, and so on, and so on, until it's three frigging months after that damn authority figure dangled the shiny copper in front of the poor kid's nose, and there's still no pay out!

Clearly, such an event would be traumatic. There would be psychological hell to pay.

How do we know? That kid grew up to be Les Moonves, and the TARflies are paying a damn long price.

"Many children learn from a traumatic event that this is acceptable behavior," says Schwindibag Kerfuffle, a professor specializing in the effects of shiny penny deprivation on the psyches of future network executives. "It's clear that Mr. Moonves wants to wreak revenge for not getting that penny long ago. He wants somebody else to learn what it feels like to wait and wait and wait for a justly deserved reward."
One, they all look damn good in sailor suits, and two, he doesn't know what to do with a fan base that's smarter than he is.
Kerfuffle theorizes that Moonves has fixated on fans of The Amazing Race as the likely deprivees for several reasons: One, they all look damn good in sailor suits, and two, he doesn't know what to do with a fan base that's smarter than he is.

But Moonves could be playing with fire. TARflies are not advocates of violence, but the provocation lately has been great. So c'mon Moonves, give us TAR4! Or at least give us a start date!

We have a tiny, stealth attack dog, and we're not afraid to use it.