Fashion Reports

Fashion Report: Episode Three

Daria: Another week of jackets covering up the racers’ clothes! But there’s still plenty to snark on. Bad hats remain, and David of Team Who? (David and Jeff) seems to have packed several. I find this odd, as he has nice hair, chopped down to a practical short length, and most of his hats don’t even cover his ears. Speaking of hair, in Episode 1, I had been concerned that Monica and Sheree’s long curls would become unruly and hard to keep up. I was wrong. Team NFLwives has used scarves and, sometimes, braids to make their hair a non-issue. Good going, ladies.
That said, however, if you are going to clothe the dome, so to speak, it makes sense to also protect your ears from frostbite.
Hildy: Well, you do lose 90 percent of your body heat from your head and feet, so it makes sense to cover the noggin at least a little bit. That said, however, if you are going to clothe the dome, so to speak, it makes sense to also protect your ears from frostbite. But perhaps it wasn’t really cold enough for that, and the little beany caps were deemed a good compromise. (The wearers deemed incorrectly as far as looks go, but I’m trying to help them out here and find a sane reason for those potholders dressed up as headgear.)

Daria: Cold weather gear and the lack thereof has been a factor. In Episode 3, we learned that running shoes have no traction on ice, causing racers to collide with carriages, horses, and each other. I wonder if the whole Millie/Chip controversy would have even occurred without the snow on the ground, or with footgear with better traction. Meanwhile, at the bungee tower, BuffJon (of Jon and Kelly) revealed a lightweight fleece jacket in a nice, bright orange. It looked perfect for most cold weather activities.

Hildy: Considering that I also own a bright orange fleece jacket, you’ll get no argument from me! As for the footwear, well, we’ve both been beating the drum for lightweight hikers, and here’s another reason why. Vibram soles do the best on snow and ice, unless one wants to invest in a pair of crampons. Although with the testy tempers on this crew, distributing crampons might be tantamount to handing out weapons of mass destruction, so perhaps we’d best not go any further down that path.

Daria: We also saw lots of sunglasses this time – Team ATC (Steve and Dave), Cindy, Kelly, and Team Who? had large sunglasses that either covered their entire field of vision or wrapped.

Hildy: Now I understand the point of the wrapped sunglasses, and indeed they perform their function very well. But I ask you: Think of that great old movie, “To Catch a Thief.” Would Cary Grant and Grace Kelly have had a tenth of their glamour if they wore wrapped sunglasses? No. No, they would not. I don’t think it’s too much to ask to add at least a faint whiff of classic fashion to one’s TAR wardrobe. Sunglasses might be an excellent choice for this.
Yet as poorly coordinated as it was, I liked what Steve and Josh brought to the Fast Forward.
Daria: Like Phil, who’s still wearing that gorgeous shearling coat, Reichen and Chip have a crisp look, especially in the clothes we’ve seen in their interviews. Yet as poorly coordinated as it was, I liked what Steve and Josh brought to the Fast Forward. Jackets and white ties with baseball caps? And, in Steve’s case, camouflage pants? It was perversely cute. Plus, I loved the formalwear of the dancers, especially the ladies’ white gloves. This edition of the race seems to be bringing us some charming background characters.

Hildy: They really are going to town on the James Ivory productions for their detours and roadblocks, and I, for one, think it’s dandy. I was giggling to myself imagining the casting instructions for this one: “Must waltz charmingly and have a swanlike neck. Men must look dapper in tails.” And all the ladies were wearing white—what was it, a debutante ball? I loved that Steve and Josh had to don formal wear, but the little corner of my brain that channels my snotraggy grandmother Hildy wished that they’d had to change the entire way. I mean, if one is going to a black tie dancing party, one should make the effort to dress.

Daria: At last, the women racers have dumped or scaled back on the make-up. Team NFLwives appeared to have gone to the naked face look, with the possible exception of lip gloss. Kelly has loosened her death grip on the mascara wand, and even Tian and Jaree seemed to have shed everything but the eyeshadow. Which still has to go, by the way.

Hildy: While I may not agree with her racing strategy (Step One: Harangue fiancé on a minute by minute basis until proved egregiously wrong) I think that Kelly looks great much of the time. Of course, she’d look good with a plate of scrambled eggs on her head, so perhaps going sans makeup isn’t that much of a hardship.
Although I still feel it’s a tad premature, my first weekly Pretty People award goes to Monica and Sheree.
Daria: Initially, I wanted to give out a Pretty People award each week, to the team that best combined an attractive look with a well-run leg and an appealing personality. I didn’t declare the award for the first two episodes, and I wasn’t going to for this one – until I viewed my tape a second time. Although I still feel it’s a tad premature, my first weekly Pretty People award goes to Monica and Sheree. In addition to the positive comments I made about their hair and make-up above, they raced smart, moving from 10th to 2nd place. And they seemed cheerful and warm, which I admit I hadn’t noticed before. So congrats, ladies – keep up the good looks, the good racing, and the good natures.

Hildy: And since I think the Pretty Person award should also extend to one’s personality, that about does it for Kelly’s chances this episode. I’ll second the motion for Team NFL. As I said last week, I like their look, although I wish it wasn’t quite such a goosestep down Matching Ensemble Lane.



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