Fashion Reports

Fashion Report - Episode One

So much to critique, so little space!
Daria: So much to critique, so little space! And how wonderful that they first went to Milan, a major fashion center. Some of the racers that looked good together didn’t seem otherwise compatible – yeah, Russell and Cindy, I’m looking at you. And Millie? Chuck isn’t the right guy for you. Trust me. I’d rather see Millie with Josh, even though she’s several years older and he doesn’t have much fashion sense, at least not that he’s shown in the race so far. What did you think, Swimmerboy?

Swimmerboy: Yeeaahhhh….I’m thinking Josh doesn’t read GQ too often. He blew it from the opening credits with that hideous red shirt/camo shorts ensemble. He looked like a military Christmas tree.

Daria: I thought Millie looked great in her white winter gear, but I think the color choice is a bad one considering how active the racers are. It shows dirt so quickly, after all, and while they only encountered snow in the Alps, it just didn’t seem very practical. On the other hand, it kept her warm enough to forge ahead to that three-way tie for first.
I have other issues with Monica and Sheree, most notably the matching outfits and matching hair.
Speaking of the Alps, I’m going to slip into gearhead mode for a moment. Monica and Sheree had trouble with the trekking poles they were handed en route to their Fast Forward. Monica’s technique got better as she went along, but Sheree didn’t seem to improve much. Used effectively, trekking poles can almost pull a person up a hill and will help conserve a lot of energy. I have other issues with Monica and Sheree, most notably the matching outfits and matching hair. I loved Talicia’s braids in TAR3 – they looked classy and seemed practical – but Monica and Sheree both have flowing loose curls of about the same length. At this early stage of the race, it’s hard to tell most of the same-sex teams apart anyway. While Monica’s facial features are more angular and Sheree is a bit taller, I wish they – and David and Jeff, and Reichen and Chip – had worn obvious visual cues to help us tell which is which. Plus, I think Monica and Sheree’s hair will become increasingly difficult to care for as the race goes on.

Swimmerboy: Well, I’ve now viewed the episode 4 times (what? I’m NOT obsessed), and thus I now can easily distinguish the same-sex teams. But as I said in the pre-race report, matching shirts is a NO-NO. Falconettes, as much as I kind of like you, please don’t do the matching jerseys anymore, especially if you’re going to be wearing matching jackets as well. And I agree, Daria, that their hairstyles are exactly the same, though I noticed that in their intro shot in the credits, Sheree’s hair is a lighter almost coffee colored brown—dyed or highlighted I’m assuming. But I guess that’d be too hard to maintain during the race. Now as far as the other teams, I couldn’t really get a read on their shirts since most of them had on jackets the entire first leg, but I have to give David of (David/Jeff) demerits for wearing a V-neck t-shirt for the start of the race. No. We do not wear undershirts as outerwear. That’s why they’re called undershirts. Check that out, David. It really does make sense.

Daria: Some of the hats weren’t horrible this time, although a few were awful. Jaree’s head wrap, David-or-Jeff’s ugly multi-color knit, Russell’s backwards baseball cap (so 1990s) were all ill-advised. Everyone else seemed to wear hats designed to avoid hat hate. The ATC guys wore those white baseball caps broadcasting their ATC credentials, which was a clever move. But let’s reverse it to white on black next time, guys, okay?

Swimmerboy: I, too, found few problems with the hats this episode. In fact, in most cases, everyone’s headgear seemed to be a matching accessory to their outfit.
Other fashion demerits go to Kelly for wearing way too much eye make-up and Amanda for getting her hair up in dog ears (the term my mom used for dual ponytails) too soon.
Daria: Tian and Jaree were so predictable in carrying too much crap in their backpacks. Other fashion demerits go to Kelly for wearing way too much eye make-up and Amanda for getting her hair up in dog ears (the term my mom used for dual ponytails) too soon. Hair can get in the way. And I, personally, own the ugliest hair clip in the universe, which I would use if I were in the race. But not until I had to. This is the same principle. Amanda can put up dog ears in 4 seconds, and on the run, too. There’s no need to look that bad in advance.

And while I’m picking on Amanda, whom I otherwise liked (yay, Amanda!), she gets a serious demerit for the shirt she was wearing in her pre-race interview. Josh? Gets a huge demerit for the weird red shirt over the cami-pants. No, no, a thousand times no! That was almost as bad as the red clown noses Jon and Al wore at the Amazing Mat. I hope they soon go to No-Clown-Nose-istan and have those things confiscated at the border.

Swimmerboy: Ah, Amanda. I do so like you, but what was the deal with that shirt? It was way too peasant-ish.

Daria: Back on the happy side of fashion, Phil looked delicious in the turtlenecks. Mmm, Phil! I thought the blonde on the Reichip team was the hottest male racer. Cindy had an especially good backpack – it looked like it was sized correctly rather than just another man’s backpack designed smaller. There were some other good packs, and I hope to write a special backpack report before too many episodes fly by.
Oh yes. Phil was certainly phetching in his outfits this episode.
Swimmerboy: Oh yes. Phil was certainly phetching in his outfits this episode. I especially liked the white turtleneck/tan jacket combo he wore in Italy. And what can I say about Reichen? Dude is all kinds of good-looking and I have the feeling he’s the type of guy who could take even Josh’s horrible outfit and turn it into something stylish.

Daria: Finally, I want to give a weekly “Pretty People Award” for the racer who was most attractive both inside and out. However, I don’t feel I have enough to work with from this first episode. So instead of just handing it out for the sake of declaring a winner, I’m going to retroactively give TAR3’s Riker twins a lifetime achievement Pretty People Award for their combination of good looks and good natures. Will we have a winner for episode two of TAR4? Check back next week and see.

Swimmerboy: Good idea, but if we’re going back to TAR3, John Vito and Jill win hands down for me. See you next week, folks!



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