A tough sell for tourism: Come for the lakes ... stay for the desolation
And with the arrival of the teams, known hereafter as either "The Valley of the Culturally Dead" or "The Valley of the Better off Dead"
With the arrival Reality TV, expect a message from the volcano Gods shortly.
"This is Miami, Florida. Gateway to the Americas." ... Phil ... given the invasion of reality stars, the Americas may want to consider shutting that gate really quick.
"This is Madagascar, the fourth largest island in the world" ... Phil ... with only Australia, Greenland, and that freaky island from Lost being bigger.
"This is the island nation of Mauritius, off the eastern coast of Africa" ... Phil ... which apparently is only accessible from the outside world by air flights connecting through England.
Nice of Phil to give us a little geography reminder lesson just in case you forgot that whole Desert Storm business a while back.
Either Phil's reading from a travel brochure or the writers are aching to start the great American novel.
"This is Mongolia. Home to a nomadic culture that has lasted over 800 years" ... Phil ... bet after having a taste of reality TV, they realized they weren't quite nomadic enough.
What do you get when you send a bunch of silly Americans to Outer Mongolia and make them deal with horses, old jeeps and something we think is a yak but reminds us of an ox? You get plenty to rant about.
The new season started off with a bang - now it's time for the rants to do the same.
Bellmoose is back from vacation and ready to rant.
Hey, everybody - roll up your sleeves, warm up your throat and get ready to rant.
Due to an editing and posting snafu, we're a little late getting this up. Better late than never, right?
It's time for a smashing good rant.
A typical Race zip line, some nice high dives and the opportunity to play with dolls – not much to rant about, right?
Horn-dogs, inept drivers and chemistry experiments – so much to rant about, so little time.
You didn't think he was finished, did you? Bellmoose still has an hour to rant about.
The Race is back, but what about the rant? Will less faces and more places leave Bellmoose with enough to rant about?
For how many weeks has Bellmoose been stuck with these same teams to rant about?
Better late than never!
Who rants more: Bellmoose or the Racers?
Here's part one of episode seven's episodic rant.
It's time for a little Costa Rica Race rant.
With the Race finally going international, will Bellmoose have more or less to rant about?
It takes more than a little bug to keep Bellmoose from ranting. In fact, sometimes it helps.
Bellmoose is all gassed up and ready to rant.
Perhaps inspired by that big shoe, Bellmoose stomps all over the place in this week's rant.
Hey, did you forget? Bellmoose still has a whole hour of the season premiere to rant about.
The new season kicks off with so much rant material, Bellmoose is going to deliver it up in stages.
It's time for the penultimate Amazing Race 7 Rant.
You'd figure with only 4 teams there would be less to rant about…figure again!
A little bunching, a little head shaving and a little ranting.
Will India bring about Killer Rant Fatigue?
Time for a little ranting safari.
Another hour of the Race means another rant.
A two-part episode produces a rant in two parts. Here's something to get you started.
One thing good about having whiney people on the Race – they give you plenty to rant about.
Hey, did you know that there are people named Rob & Amber on this season of The Amazing Race? Do you think the other Racers know?
Who knew that shoe shining could give one so much to rant about?
New season, new racers…so much to rant about.
This rant goes to eleven.
With the elimination of that team, will there be anything to rant about? Oh ye of little faith.
To rant or to smile, that is the question.
If it's a non-elimination is there more or less to rant about?
Bellmoose took the clip-show week off, so he's fresh and full of rant for this episode.
While the rest of us yelled at the words, "To be continued," Bellmoose found much more to rant about.
With all this ranting, you'd think Bellmoose was on 'roids or something.
Another week, another rant…
While the rest of us sniffle, Bellmoose rants.
A stressful and strange leg produces much to rant about.
I think this just might be one of the longest rants yet. I guess that's fitting since two hours (and some interesting characters) gave Bellmoose plenty to work with.
And now it's time for the final rant of the season. Where has the time gone?
As if there wasn't enough ranting in the episode, Bellmoose checks in with his comments.
Begging, digging in mud, sledging and zorbing – yep, lots to rant about.
Another episode means more to rant about.
And Bellmoose was worried about what he might have to work with when Mirna and Charla left…
Episode seven gave Bellmoose plenty to rant about.
I'm worried the desert heat may be having an effect on the teams' brains. It does make for good quotes, though.
Bellmoose returns with another collection of quotes, commentary...and a little ranting.
This week, we welcome a new writer – say hi to Bellmoose and enjoy his rant.