Classifieds

Wanted

Repairman to fix broken ox. Must be willing to work in mud. Send resume to INTENSE TEXAN@Im PACKING it.com

Wanted

Writer for aspiring comedy duo. Material must actually be funny, because we aren't. Send samples of your work to Gary or Dave. thunk @ Boy - that - one - fell - flat - didnt - it.com

Personals

You: handsome, generous, Italian man in a shop in Cinque Torre. Me: out of breath, being nagged by my traveling companion. So sorry I couldn't stick around--let's meet for coffee and get to know each other. Reply to jaree@Where - did - I - leave - my - smokes.com

For Sale

Jet-ski. Used only once, almost drowned. $400 OBO. tramel@Least - I - got - to - pee.com

For Sale

Large backpack and all contents, including 4 cartons cigarettes; Zippo and 2 large cans lighter fluid; lots of clothes; coffee mug; maps, ticket stubs and other papers; 6 pair sunglasses; 1 dead eel; headlight; 24"x36" framed oil painting; bundle coir fiber (red); kitchen sink; much more. theotherone@Which - ones - Jaree - again - I - never - can - tell.com

Personals

Margaretta:
You're a heck of a woman. Wanna share my space blanket?
Davey

For Sale

Women's engagement ring, size 5, 1 carat marquis diamond solitaire, platinum Tiffany setting. Will trade for women's size small skydiving suit. nekkid@7500feet.com

Want to Hire: Wardrobe Manager

Must be able to consistently balance practical and attractive. Choosing ugly hats or sweaters is grounds for immediate dismissal. Preferred colors are khaki, black and blue. Knowledge of leather jackets a plus. Must be able to iron on the run. This job involves extensive travel; valid passport required. Send resume to MMMphil @ Burnthatsweateralready . Itsfugly . com

For Sale

Used Donkey Cart; some damage to harness, no donkey. Small bloodstains. Make an offer, we never want to see it again. splat@harvardlaw.edu

Want to Buy

NEEDED: a clue about what we got ourselves into. GutsyGranny @Dowhat.Gowhere.com

Personals: Bald Seeks Beautiful

Folicley challenged but affable fellow seeks woman with Italian accent who answers to the name of Sara. Must consider "jackass" to be a term of endearment. Knowledge of geography and good car-spotting abilities a plus.

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Personals: Sexy Solicitor

Pretty-boy lawyer looking for woman with high tolerance for bad hats and a knack for hailing fast taxis. Ability to put up with Rainman-like side-kick a plus. Likes oatmeal and stomping Tokyo.

lonely at the cherry & spoon